The holiday season has arrived and that means family time with extended relatives, and consequently, to-do lists and errand-running to prepare. While it can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of hosting and gift shopping, it’s important to make time for intentional conversation with the seniors in your life. Don’t allow tasks and checklists to eclipse time shared together–keep in mind a few of the following to ensure your family, and particularly aging parents and grandparents, enjoy the holidays.
- Take time to assess the physical and emotional well-being of your aging loved ones. Whether they stay in a senior living community or live independently, observe the way they act and engage with family and friends to gauge how they’re doing. Do they seem conversational and interested in children and grandchildren? Are they willing to participate in activities or offer to help in the kitchen? Or do they seem detached and self-contained? Would they rather sit on the sidelines and observe? Living apart from aging parents and grandparents can prevent adult children and grandchildren from seeing how they do in “normal” social settings and activities. Take stock in what you observe and utilize their non-verbal cues to assess how you can best support them.
- For adult children with aging parents, particularly widows and widowers, it’s important to focus on keeping situations and conversations positive. Sometimes holidays conjure up old memories of lost spouses and friends, allowing sorrow and grief to become overwhelming. It’s important to not brush these feelings under the rug, but to allow sorrow to be expressed and accepted with loving, open arms. Often, remembering those who have passed can be special moments for families and the holidays are a great time to offer support and a listening ear. Encourage aging parents to feel comfortable sharing their grief, but make every effort to keep the atmosphere positive around them. Holidays are a time for celebration and community, and the best environments support both grief and joy.
- Allow your aging parents to host you in their space, if they’re able. Particularly for parents in senior living communities, there may be opportunities for family and friends to visit for holiday festivities. Families should be encouraged to embrace these activities, as they offer validation for the lives aging parents are cultivating and it allows a peek into their community. If your parents don’t openly discuss activities, feel free to ask them to identify activities you can attend – whether those activities are decorating for the holidays, symphony outings, or just a community social, help your parents feel at home by being part of the new traditions that help define their new community.